Naked and kneeling upon the cold cement block in the KINK Armory basement, my arms folded behind my back, I welcomed the sting of the whip that came down upon my tender flesh.
With each whipping I felt myself teetering on an emotional cliff, getting closer to falling. But what exactly would I be falling into? I opened myself to the energy that lay past the edge.
I could feel the edge of my mind, a round, beautiful, safe feeling full of warm energy. This safe space of transcendence opened before me, and I knew that if I went any closer, I would cry. With release, with joy, with complete gratitude, it was better than any orgasm I have ever experienced.
I was a masochist before I ever knew what a masochist was. I registered pain as profound and gratifying pleasure.
Daddy's hands touched my flesh and grabbed hold of my hair. The space we walked into was sacred, spiritual. I felt my body become weightless even though I still knelt on the ground and each lashing brought my consciousness back to my body like an invisible lasso.
I had fallen in love; the world around me disappeared. All that remained was me and the person I loved. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my very existence.
I was a masochist before I ever knew what a masochist was. I registered deep, intense sensations that some people perceived as painful as only profound and gratifying pleasure.
But how do we hold pain? How do we release it? And how do we explore the pleasure and portals to transcendence that it contains?
When we allow ourselves to surrender to the moment, it has a profound impact on how we experience the exchange of touch and energy. The intent of the touch that we are receiving also makes a huge difference in how we process the sensation or pain.
The shift from our body contracting from the fear of a flogger making contact with our skin to the expansion that comes with the surrender and ultimate welcoming of touch are starkly contrasting experiences. Pain, when it is welcomed and invited in, is just sensation – energy that we can develop tools to process, transmute, and release.
Breathe
Breath moves stuck energy and emotion from the body. It also moves erotic energy through your body as well as intense sensation. It is our internal wind system. We are directing the flow and movement of the energy in our body from touch or impact through our breath.
Whether you are experiencing a spanking or playing with nipple clamps, your breath creates movement of the sensation from a concentrated area, as well as release for the energy you are receiving. Our body is intentionally welcoming in the touch or energy, receiving it and moving it with our breath.
When I receive pain, I like to fully inhale the sensation. My exhalation is used to direct or push the sensation to the area of my body I'd like to send the energy to. I also utilize my exhalation to send this pleasurable energy back out to my partner.
Visualize
Visualization is a powerful skill for any masochist navigating their way through an intense scene.
The aim here is to picture the pain or the sensation that you are receiving as its own entity. Closing your eyes and using your imagination can be helpful for this practice. As you receive pain, identify its color. Is it red, orange, blue, or some other color?
Stand in your power as an active, compassionate witness in welcoming that pain into your vessel. Observe the pain. Notice its texture and how it wants to move through your body.
Visualize your breath and body movement, directing the sensation where to go. Perhaps your heart is leading this sensation to its epicenter to fill it up with love. Or maybe your cunt is calling to the sensation to imbue it with its juicy erotic goodness.
Vocalize
Imagine a deep, primordial OM that you are channeling from the depths of the earth's womb.
When I'm playing in an S&M scene, I often sound like an opera singer! Vocalizing is a great way to move sensation through your body, transmute pain into pleasure, and release your sensation out into the world.
As a scene is starting to build and impact is slowly ramping up, I use a humming type of vocalization. This helps me to harness the power of the pain and transmute the energy from pain to pleasure.
As an impact scene develops with greater intensity, I find a deep-rooted, elongated ahhhhh or ohhhhh sound to be most supportive.
This chanting-like vocalization comes from deep in the gut or pelvic bowl. If you find that your vocal release is high pitched, staccato, or originating from your throat space, it's time to adjust. Lower the base of your vocalization. Imagine a deep, primordial OM that you are channeling from the depths of the earth's womb. That energy is flowing through you and transforming this pain into the juiciest, most luscious pleasure possible.
Stay Present
As a pain coping modality, some submissives find themselves floating away. Disassociating from their bodies in an attempt to take in pain but not register the sensation. I'd like to encourage you to avoid this.
Instead, try to stay present with your body and the sensation. Scan your body and notice if you are clenching your muscles or if your muscles are relaxed. If your muscles are tense it is more difficult for energy to move through your vessel.
Simple movement of the body like kegels, hip circles, or the arching of your back, can assist in moving sensation through the body. Integrating additional pleasurable sensations such as a vibrator can also expand one's threshold for intense sensation.
Shepherds of Pain
Masochists witness the vibration of pain with an open and fearless heart. We welcome it in, observe it, and guide it on a journey of transformation and ecstatic release.
Pink welts sprang up like wildflowers…
As his whip fell upon my chest. I was riding waves of endorphins, my body mentally levitating, breathless and weightless.
You want to cry? Go ahead and let it out slut. Daddy laughed as tears streamed hot down my cheeks.
Thank you. Thank you so much. I love you so much. Thank you. I exhaled, overcome with joy.
