I have been a professional bondage rigger for a long time, but bondage did not come easily to me. When I first ventured into organized public BDSM, bondage was just the opening act in my scenes. Whether I reached for leather cuffs, rope, chain, or handcuffs hardly mattered—they were all just props to set the stage for what I considered the "real" play with my willing partners: impact.
My toy bag told the story of my priorities: a few basic restraints tucked alongside the real treasures: floggers, a single tail whip, clips and clamps and various other impact toys. The rope was functional. The impact toys were art.
Those early years in Seattle were intoxicating. I reveled in exploring and learning within a community of supportive, like-minded people who shared my hunger for discovery.
I can pinpoint the exact moment my perspective shifted. Rachael and I were enjoying a typical Saturday night play party at Seattle's BDSM epicenter, Beyond the Edge Cafe.
Rachael deemed herself my 'best bitch'. She beamed when we played and she had the rare talent of radiating back whatever was given to her in a scene. Rachael was the kind of submissive partner that was content with life and never drained my energy.
That Night in Seattle
I am working through a routine rope tie with Rachael, preparing for the evening's usual activities. But something is different tonight. Each turn of the rope seems to demand another, pulling us deeper into the process. We find ourselves adding layer after layer, consumed by the rhythm of the binding itself. When we finally pause, every foot of rope I own is wrapped around Rachael. She lies there completely immobilized before me.
I sit back, expecting the familiar surge of anticipation that marks the beginning of a scene. Instead, a sense of calm settles over me—a sense of completion I have never experienced from bondage alone.
As I watch her squirm against the tight bondage, utterly helpless at my feet, a realization washes over me: I feel done. Not anticipatory, not unfulfilled. Just... complete. For the first time, I understand that the bondage itself can be the destination, not just the journey.
Discovering a Vocation
I was intrigued and confused. I found myself wondering: could bondage alone be enough? I soon discovered I wasn't alone in my evolving fascination. An entire world existed of practitioners who found fulfillment in bondage for its own sake. The art of restraint, the psychology of helplessness, the intimate trust of surrender all began to open up for me.
My curiosity drove me to learn more about the intensity of heavy leather bondage, the 'ikebana' of Japanese rope work, and many other expressions of the art form I had previously overlooked.
The Simple Things
I still appreciate the hiss of a flogger and the burning sting of clamps and clips. But I've also discovered that fulfillment can be had with just a single piece of rope and a willing partner. The bondage, for me, was always the point. I just needed time to see it.
