I was nervous as hell. After weeks of practicing with butt plugs and dildos, I still wasn't sure I could pull off my very first anal scene. Especially not in a gangbang with four performers I'd never worked with before! But as I stood in the San Francisco Armory nine years ago, preparing for what would become an unforgettable KINK shoot, I had no idea just how transformative this groovy 70s-themed Hardcore GangBang would be.
I was working with the amazing director Madeline Marlowe for the site HardcoreGangbang and an iconic cast of performers including Tommy Pistol, Owen Gray, Will Havoc, and Mickey Mod. I had never worked with any of these performers previously, and it was honestly extra exciting that I got to handpick everyone I worked with that day. Being involved in curating my experience really helped ease my anxieties and gave me a sense of agency around the shoot.
Kink's gangbang site is based on these fun and sexy fantasies and leans into quite a bit of role play. We get to step into these roles and play out a sexy story for the camera.
In this particular fantasy, I played a spunky reporter who was looking to get the inside scoop on a steroid ring that a basketball team was running. So I dressed as a guy and went undercover, joining the team. Everything is going as planned until the coach—played by the hilarious Tommy Pistol—walks in on me in the shower. Tommy makes me confess to the whole team that I'm an undercover reporter and somehow... I end up with all of my holes stuffed with cocks!
Hot and Hilarious
This was my very first anal shoot, so I was a bit nervous that I wouldn't be able to perform, even though I had been practicing for weeks prior. Everyone was so nice and patient with me. We took breaks whenever I needed to and we laughed more than I've ever laughed on any set.
Even though the sex itself was a lot of fun, there was a scene at the beginning where the whole team was hanging out in a sauna. That just ended up being so hilarious. Tommy Pistol really gave it his all in that scene!
We truly couldn't stop laughing. But really, I think this seems so memorable because we just had such a good time. It was such a good group of people.
The Zen of Anal Sex
A lot of deep breathing and relaxing is necessary to do so much anal in one shoot, so you kind of become a zen master and work your way through it slowly but surely. Practice and warming up for the big day was really important as well. In the weeks leading up to the shoot, I practiced daily using butt plugs, dildos, and a few helpful partners.
On the day, I just took it one step at a time, expressed my needs and limits to my co-performers, and it went very well. Although I eventually had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't fit Owen Gray inside my ass no matter how badly I wanted to.
When it comes down to it, I think the most important thing when you're on such an intense set is to just be patient with yourself. Try not to rush it, know and express your physical limits clearly.
Curating My Anal Fantasy
I never thought I would be able to experience a gangbang. But I was able to curate every aspect of this shoot, and it felt comfortable and natural. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. I think the most important thing I learned on set that day was that I'm capable of much more than I realize sometimes.
I just felt so safe, respected, and understood on that set. All the performers, the director, as well as everyone at Kink was so in tune with where I was physically and mentally. Getting to stay at the Armory during my time filming with Kink was an extra special treat. It really was such a special time and place to be able to create kinky art.
