Dear Madison,
At the beginning, we would fuck and he would almost never cum. I was a bit concerned as men have always come so easily inside me, and we were so into it, I could see he liked it.
I am a French bisexual woman in an open-relationship with a cis man. We met one and a half years ago, it was very special from the beginning, especially the chemistry but also the values, how we see the world. A very special encounter.
We are non monogamous, and we weren't really looking for a committed relationship. But we fell in love and the chemistry was still there.
After a few months, we said Je t'aime to each other and began to see each other more regularly. This man can fuck for several hours without ejaculation.
At the beginning, we would fuck and he would almost never cum. I was a bit concerned as men have always come so easily inside me, and we were so into it, I could see he liked it.
After I understood how it was working for him, he began to cum much more regularly. I know orgasm shouldn't be a goal, but let's be honest, it feels so good when we finally cum after hours of sex, kisses, cuddles.
We both love sex, his libido is so high and mine too, it's a match made in heaven.
We do a lot of different things together, oral, genital, a lot of anal sex also, he fucks me, I fuck him, we switch and it is beautiful.
The problem I have is that I began to get UTI on a very regular basis, after long intercourse, and had to take antibiotics every month, sometimes even more often for over a year. It's been 3 months since I've had one, thanks to D-mannose and probiotics.
But I wonder: what sex workers do to preserve their sexual endurance? What are the tricks, the tips?
Apart from going to pee after each intercourse, shower gently without soap. A midwife advised me to put organic borage oil on my vulva, saying it is good for elasticity, I think it's working well. But happy to hear more from our sex professionals out there.
Sincerely,
Fucking Forever
Hi Fucking Forever,
It sounds like you and your partner have fantastic chemistry! A few questions to think about.
Marathon Sex Vs Sprints
Do you always want to be having sex that lasts for such a long period of time? Does your partner? Setting clear expectations around sex, including how long you might want to engage in sex for, is helpful in achieving a sexually pleasurable experience that works for everyone.
It's ok to say that you don't want to engage in sex that lasts for hours or that you have around 20 minutes for a quick spanking and blow job. Experimenting with adding some shorter sexual adventures to how you connect erotically, can diversify your sexual repertoire.
For those times when you both want to spend the afternoon deep in a multi hour sexual extravaganza - that's great! But listen to your body. You can continue to explore and play with one another but take breaks, hydrate, and nourish one another.
Widening Your Scope of Sexual Play
If you are experiencing vaginal pain or frequent UTIs, you may want to try other types of sex that don't involve vaginal penetration.
You mentioned enjoying other types of play including fucking your partner and anal sex. These can be a great way to give yourself a break from vaginal intercourse.
This is one of the many fabulous things about kink and BDSM. The capacity to explore pleasure and the erotic in nonconventional ways.
Break out the rope or leather cuffs and explore the many sensations of bondage. Slip into a new role with some fantasy role play or explore some of the many vibrators that provide clitoral stimulation.
If your partner also enjoys being fucked, you can explore the wide world of pegging and strap on play.
Slippery When Wet
Check out the ingredients in the lubricant that you are using. You may be sensitive to the ingredients. Experiment on your own with a few different kinds of lubricant like a natural gel, cream or silicone lubricant. Use plenty of lubrication to avoid irritation through unnecessary friction.
Anal Protocol
Anal play is also a fantastic alternative. But remember that you want to avoid any cross contamination between the anus and vagina.
UTIs are caused by bacteria entering into the urethra. Frequently this can be caused by E. coli from the digestive track making its way to the urethra and causing an infection.
If you are engaging in anal sex make sure dildos, fingers, butt plugs, or your partner's cock isn't going from the anus to the vagina. If you are wanting to engage in both anal and vaginal play using a latex barrier like a condom or nitrile gloves can be a good way to keep from spreading bacteria.
Prevention and Care
In your question, you mention some solid practices that I would encourage you to continue including urinating before and after sex. This is helpful in flushing out any bacteria in the urethra. Additionally I would recommend staying hydrated so that you can flush out any bacteria that may have entered the urethra. Showering before and after sex can additionally help in avoiding the transfer of bacteria.
Achieving Holistic and Horny Balance
I'm thrilled to hear that probiotics are helping you to avoid further UTIs. Probiotic supplements can help promote a healthy balance of bacteria in the vaginal flora, which can help ward off harmful bacteria.
Certain individuals are more prone to UTIs than others. The things you mentioned such as borage oil can be helpful for vaginal health but I would suggest widening your scope of sexual play and pacing yourself, and truly deciding how often you want to engage in marathon sex.
Gladiators of Entertainment
Sex workers and pornstars are the gladiators of entertainment. But they too get UTIs, yeast infections, vaginal tears etc. Athletes can stretch, train and treat their body like a temple but sometimes they still get injured or infections.
Health Care with Kink Aware Professionals
Finding a gynecologist that is sex positive and kink aware that you feel comfortable talking with about your UTIs could be an excellent addition to your support team. I do love that you mentioned that you have a midwife that you are able to talk to about your persistent UTIs. Having a kink aware care team of practitioners is key to our sexual wellness.
Happy humping!
With orgasms and pleasure,
Madison
