“You have any previous diving experience?” the director asked me.
A lot of our shoot ideas came up this way, casually while we were just hanging out. But there would be nothing casual about the bondage scene he wanted to film live for Kink.com’s Device Bondage channel: suspending me upside down in a tank of water up to my waist, strapped to a Sybian — a saddle-style vibrating machine.
I didn’t have any diving experience, but I wasn’t going to let a little thing like that stop me. My only question was, “When do we do it?”
I’d already acquired a reputation for being a fairly intense BDSM player, and the whole reason I’d ended up in front of the cameras at Kink.com was because I wanted to play with the very best toys, with the most skilled people, and under the safest conditions possible.
I wanted to experience altered realities, mind-melting circumstances that pushed me through the fabric of the space-time continuum until I touched the very hem of the universe and tasted honey and adrenaline coursing in my veins.
This proposed scene had the potential for exactly that.
On the day of the shoot, I walked into the large, chilly room deep in the stone bowels of the San Francisco Armory where the shoot would take place. It was a flurry of activity, with a crew of around 10 black-clad people bustling about — adjusting pipes, laying out towels, checking the temperature of the water, determining the best camera angles. A licensed EMT was on hand too, just in case.
All I had to do was show up and take it.
I sat in the center of the room in a black robe, naked underneath, observing the careful preparations. I would be trusting these people with my life, trusting that I wouldn’t be drowned or electrocuted. And I did trust them.
When it came time, I took my robe off. I was strapped tightly to a metal cross made of pipes, and to the Sybian that was bolted to that. A breathing mask was put on me, and they made sure it was airtight. Then I was hauled up slowly until I was fully inverted, and lowered into the tank of water — just far enough so that I was underwater but the electrical components of the Sybian were not.
It went as smooth as silk, not a single hiccup. All I had to do was come.
And so I did.
Sybians are powerful vibrators, and they sound like an airplane taking off. When I sit on one, my brains slide out of my ears, and I can no longer recall my name.
How long was I underwater? Two minutes? Twenty? I can’t say for sure, as I was very distracted by coming my brains right out, my muffled screams through the breathing tube distorted by the water and pressure.
Time folded in on itself, and I simply existed and came and came again. There was no thought, only sensation. Giant rolling waves of sensation crashing over me. The video cameras, crew, film set…all of that faded away. It was just me in the moment.
When the shoot was over, they hauled me back out, untied me, gave me a towel and sent me on my way to go get dressed. I floated out of the Armory soon after, grinning, wet hair plastered to my head and dopamine joy trickling out of every pore, love for all of humanity radiating from my heart.
Someday I want to look back on a lifetime of exquisite experiences, a photo album bursting at the seams with my collected memories. I have dedicated myself to that goal. I am nowhere done yet, but I have managed to collect some damn good experiences so far, and this one was one of the best.
Forever grateful, me.
Rain DeGrey is an international educator, writer, presenter, podcaster and performer who has been writing articles and teaching classes focusing on kink, relationships and sex education since 2009. After getting her start as a fetish model, pro domme and competitive wrestler, she was motivated to branch out into education, something she is extremely passionate about. Demystifying sexuality and presenting in a clear humorous way are trademarks of her teaching style. She believes strongly in making sex education fun and engaging.
She has taught on a wide variety of topics at numerous venues, including Harvard University, Northwestern University, Adler University, Kink.com, The Citadel, Dark Odyssey, Folsom Street Fair, Kink Academy, Thunder in the Mountains, Black Thorn, Kinky Kollege and Boundcon.
She has been featured in Playboy TV’s 69 Sexiest Things to Do Before You Die, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, The SF Fetish Ball, Epix’s Sex Life, Bawdy Storytelling, Mystery Box Theater, and RISK! and is a multiple-crown winner of the Dirty Talk Game Show.
