If we don't challenge ourselves and push right up against our edge, our boundaries, will we ever know what we are truly capable of?
I've experienced plenty of challenging bondage scenarios at Kink.com, but the scenes that really stand out are the total mind fucks. The psychological component of BDSM can be so intense and is something that brings me right up to my edge.
I had the chance to explore that edge last year in an intense abduction fantasy scene on Sex and Submission.
Getting the Team Together
If I'm diving into a kink scene that involves a lot of trust, it's key for me to have a supportive group of people that I'm working with. JP assembled a total dream team with Tommy Pistol as my scene partner. I was surrounded by some of my favorite creative people. It feels like I've worked with all of them countless times at this point!
The Fantasy
The premise of this fantasy scene is that JP kidnaps me, ties me up, and throws me in the back of a van. He delivers me to Tommy, who plays an unhinged psychopath that wants to purchase me and use my body for his pleasure. And he threatens me with a hammer!
The Bondage: Kept in My Place
I am tied to a bed in a creepy room with Tommy. My arms and legs are restrained, and Tommy pins me down by straddling my face and stuffing his cock in my mouth. I get to wriggle around and struggle in our scene, really playing the damsel in distress role, which is a lot of fun.
Hammer Time
During the scene, I ask if Tommy can fuck me with the hammer handle while having a plastic bag over my head. I have never done either before, but it just seems perfect for the scene, and I really want to go for it. The team happily obliges, and the aesthetic looks perfectly "scary"!
There were parts where I could have maybe escaped, so Tommy used the hammer as a tool of intimidation to keep me in place. Tommy adds a level of strangeness—he gives the hammer a name and its own character in the story.
Edge-Play: In the Bag
I'd never experienced breath play with a plastic bag. I know it's pretty edgy, but I really wanted to try it out, and it really heightened my whole experience.
Being restrained with rope, my legs bound and splayed open while having the bag over my head—this really pinned me to the bed. The bag definitely makes it a lot more difficult to escape!
When I feel a little bit nervous about the bag, we come up with a non-verbal communication cue. I make sure that Tommy keeps his hand near me so I can squeeze if things get a little too dicey.
Reassuring Check-Ins
At one point, JP stops the scene to ask if I am okay because the breathing in the bag looks so intense. I am totally fine, but I appreciate the check-in! When the director or the person that I'm performing with is staying connected and really checking in with me about how I'm doing, I feel cared for and safe. I'm able to give of myself more deeply to the scene and go further.
The Game - Psychological Components of BDSM
I see heavy bondage and psychologically intense BDSM shoots as a chance to challenge myself. I make a game out of pushing my own boundaries until I'm proud of the level that I'm able to achieve.
This scene in particular was more mentally intense than physically strenuous, so I was continuously checking in with myself to make sure that I could push further, and what resulted was a kink scene that I will never forget.
